i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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