I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
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