idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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