I molested 6 butterflies tonight
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
