i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
