idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Randomize
