I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
It was confusing and full of hummus
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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