I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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