i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
