god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
