I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
