Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize