you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
