He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
You can't motorboat a personality
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Randomize
