Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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