his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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