told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
