Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
