I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
