i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Randomize