I bet he comes in French.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
