oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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