And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Randomize
