you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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