Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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