All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
