I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
