Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
