If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
