I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
