I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I queefed so loud it echoed.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
