At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
There r osticjed everywhere
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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