I like my sex mixed with concussions.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
Randomize
