try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
