NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Randomize
