Having a random hookup so left but love u
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
