I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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