im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize