why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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