I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
