I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
