I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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