Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There r osticjed everywhere
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
