im drinking this country out of the recession.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
