Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
