Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't deserve a penis
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
