I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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