sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Randomize