how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
