I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
True strength comes from lack of pants
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize