So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
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So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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