I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
