i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
