Jerry, you need to find god
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Randomize
