SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
