i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
