his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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