I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
