11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
D3 body, D1 cock
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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