p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Randomize
